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Detour [userpic]
StriderKyo on MGS3
by Detour (detour)
at May 13th, 2008 (10:58 pm)

This was pretty good. It fixed most of the things I usually bitch about with MSG games - the enemies see further and hear better, and the more organic environments make it feel less like a maze game. I wasn't sure at first whether these changes were for the better, since it makes the sneaking seem a little less focused and a whole lot harder, but it grew on me even though I got caught on like every fucking screen. One thing that was total bullshit was the amount of time the alert phase lasts for. Like, every time I got caught I'd just go hide under a table and then watch tv for 5 minutes until it was over. If you're making me switch off your game every couple of minutes that's a really shitty design choice, but it didn't stop me from enjoying the game overall.

The last third of the game was like a monument to storytelling excess, as they slapped on climax after climax after climax, but it worked by the end. The story was also much more down to earth until the very ending, where things started to tie into MGS2's mess.

Let me see if I get this, because there were some things I either didn't get, or did get and can't believe that's what the story is.

Alright:

The Boss is like the only woman to fight in World War II, and she is so badass she invaded Normandy WHILE NINE MONTHS PREGNANT with only a sad guy and a beekeeper at her side. The US government sent their least responsible surgeon to cut a big janky scar all the way up to her neck to steal the baby in the middle of the Omaha Beach invasion.

The Philosophers were the super-secret government of China/Russia/America, and they're a bunch of assholes and want there to be lots of wars...just because. I guess for money. So, they got all their money together so they'd have enough to fight World War II ten times, but then died of old age before World War II started. So then Volgin's dad stole all the money, laundered it through a bunch of countries and then scattered it around the world. Or only had half of it and the KGB had the rest. I don't know, people kept contradicting each other.

Except the Philosophers aren't really dead, because they give the Boss a mission to go to Russia and kill the Sorrow in 1960 because...well, I don't think they ever say why. Either way, I'm not really clear on how Volgin's dad got away with the money.

Volgin is the Colonel of GRU and is a bisexual sadist who is gay for Raiden's grandfather and knows the exact size of his mammoth cock by feel. Also, he wears an electric suit all the time that's frying his face off or something. His plan is to make a rocket Godzilla tank that shoots nuclear missiles and prove the power of Russia to America and the world by giving it to several untrustworthy governments and rebel groups. I'm not sure how that plan is supposed to work out in Russia's favour, but Volgin is clearly a little impulsive so maybe he's not supposed to either. He is backed by Leonid Brezhnev, arch nemesis of Jimmy Carter.

Eva is really Tatyana and she was raised by the Philosophers to be a quadruple-reverse sex agent pretending to be an American defector to the Russians who's really an agent for the Philosophers pretending to be a triple crossing spy for China posing as a KGB agent. She infiltrates GRU by posing as Sokolov's girlfriend...or as a code breaking US defector, or both. Everyone thinks she's really from the KGB but I guess she's allowed to stick around and spy because Volgin likes to cut her during sex. At the end, she steals the Shagohod data and the information on the Philosopher's legacy, except she doesn't because we see Snake still has it in his hand and Ocelot says the US government made off with half of it at the end. She also apparently got fake information on the Shagohod which the Chinese government uses to make normal missiles.

Speaking of China, if the Philosophers still exist there, why did they allow Mao's revolution to take place? How did they survive it? Or is Mao Ze Dong part of the LaLiLuLeLo? They kind of skipped over the whole thing of the Guo Min Dang getting kicked out of China. I guess they're all puppets or something.

Ocelot is really a CIA agent, and is a mole in the Russian military. This explains why he roots for Snake against Volgin and doesn't try to kill him at the end, but doesn't explain why he tried to kill him like 8 other times and did nothing while he was getting tortured, or why he tries to make Snake and Eva fly into a mountain by trashing their jet and then jumping out of a moving plane for no reason. I guess he's just that big of an asshole.